Hey There, Indiana.

Hey there, Indiana.

Now, don't be offended, but I had to look you up. Yes... I'm one of those Elitists. I'm sorry, but as far as I'm concerned, you're not a state until Sufjan Stevens dedicates an album to you.

You're looking good today, by the way.

Actually, the reason I'm here is that it's your turn soon, and I need you to vote for Obama. I'm blunt, I know, and this is unacceptable, especially on a first date. But I can't take it anymore. I can't take the games and the lies and the pandering and the bowling and the drinking and the gun holding and the stupid debates and Chris Matthews hates women, I know, but let's move on, and the ads with Osama and the singing celebrities, oh, please no more singing celebrities.

Pennsylvania messed up. No big deal. You can do better, Indiana. Indy.

How funny is it... I've only known you for half-an-hour, but I really feel a connection. Do you feel what I feel, Indiana?